To be introverted

October 26, 2022

Being introverted means dealing with certain stereotypes such as cold, selfish, antisocial, arrogant, aloof, and many others. It often involves trying to fit in socially by wearing a kind of mask to be accepted by most people, but the result can be catastrophic.

For example, in the middle school I attended, being extroverted was one of the greatest “qualities” someone could have. When someone received a compliment like, "Wow, you're really extroverted! I like you," logically that person had more friends, was the most popular, etc.

Many introverts still have to deal with bullying during this phase of life, and speaking for myself, it's not easy. When they arrive at school, things become even more complicated because they're placed in a situation where they have to choose between forcing themselves to make friends (starting a conversation, for example, which is very difficult) or staying isolated in a corner forever.

The first option is the riskiest because it requires a change in behavior, in other words, showing that you're extroverted without being so causes great emotional and even physical exhaustion.

Anxiety starts to take over, and if the person doesn't return to their natural state, it can have serious consequences. Therefore, the second option ends up being the most viable for an introvert, but prolonged isolation can also affect their mental health.

What can we conclude from this, then? First, most introverts are super cheerful, friendly, and do want to help everyone. But the aforementioned stereotypes sometimes make it difficult for a first approach, and this is a process that requires attention and a lot of understanding from others.

Not all introverts are shy, quite the opposite, once they feel comfortable in a particular environment, they can talk about any topic, tell jokes, laugh, sing, dance, in short, things that “normal people” do.

Moments of solitude are essential because that's how they produce more. It's necessary to understand that not everyone works the same way, some require more time to show themselves than others, and in the case of introverts, the way they see things is often not understood by those around them, yet another reason why they sometimes feel lonely. But introversion is not a disease, never has been, and never will be.

It's part of the individual's personality, and understanding how it works, the different mechanisms that introverts use to relate to people is the first step towards building a more receptive society.

Final thoughts

If this has piqued your interest in the subject, I recommend reading the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain, one of the best guides for introverts, and why not, for extroverts too (after all, let's not forget about ambiverts, who possess typical characteristics of both groups).